


she's coming over like a suicide

by hyperandrogenism



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Ending, Canonical Character Death, Dark, Death, Hurt No Comfort, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, The Transformers: Sins of the Wreckers, seriously this is super dark lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperandrogenism/pseuds/hyperandrogenism
Summary: It's just like being back in thatcave, so many years ago, listening to the other cadets screaming and crying and begging and wondering when his turn would come again.(title changed from "mom, am i still young? can i stay for a few months longer?")
Kudos: 3





	she's coming over like a suicide

**Author's Note:**

> umm. cannot stress enough that this is just Dark and there is no good in it. big tw for suicide, there are semi graphic descriptions of how hubcap wanted to commit suicide included.
> 
> i SWEAR im not suicidal i just like seeing the wreckers suffer jkfsadhlfjkdsahjksda

It's just like being back in that _cave_ , so many years ago, listening to the other cadets screaming and crying and begging and wondering when his turn would come again.

Hubcap fell in a puddle, deep enough to drown his vents a bit and make him gasp for painful breaths. His HUD is filled with warnings and alerts that he doesn't even have the ability to dismiss. One of his legs is broken, twisted and bent in a way it isn't supposed to be. Some of the plating on his chest is crushed from both sides, from the shot he took and hitting the ground so hard. His limbs are splayed wide to his side and he can't summon the strength to move them, even though he's so cold and all he wants to do is curl up in a ball for what little comfort he can get in this hell. On the way down he'd hit his helm on a ledge, and he can feel his processor malfunctioning and he swears his helm is caved in but can’t raise his arm to find out. His optics aren't working, but his audials are, and he can hear every sound that makes him know the end is near, whether it's by his injuries or someone coming back to pick him off or the Noisemaze collapsing around him.

Luckily, his processor injury means he doesn't feel much pain, just a feeling of _wrongness_ where his helm is dented and his leg is twisted and his plating is crushed. But it isn't very much of a mercy, and Hubcap can't concentrate enough to be thankful for it.

Many times, so many times in the years since Roadbuster _destroyed him_ , he'd begged Primus and Mortilus and any deity who would listen to let him die in the suffocating loneliness of his room, to put him out of his misery, to please have some mercy and pity for once, and to let someone find his cold body and not even recognize him like they always didn't. He'd even attempted to kill himself in some feeble ways, at least a dozen times. He'd never had the guts to really go through with it. He always wished he had, shot himself in the mouth for a quick and painless death or slit his throat to spill all the energon in his body on the floor or smashed his helm on the wall until he was lobotomized and drooling and twitching, but he never could make himself do it, no matter how much his chest ached to.

But now, now that he is dying, now that he's so cold and alone and small, all Hubcap wants is for someone to come out of the dust of the imploding Noisemaze and carry him to safety and hold him and make him okay. He has no idea why, there’s no one left in this universe to care for him, but _Hubcap_ _doesn't want to die._ He desperately wants to live. But he doesn't get a choice here.

He barely has the energy to cry, but he does, little whimpers and sobs and staticky pleas for anyone to hear him and save him as what marginal awareness he has slips away. His flickering spark aches in his chest with grief and pain and fear.

And even that is snuffed out within half an hour.

**Author's Note:**

> harass me on tumblr [@first-and-always](https://first-and-always.tumblr.com/)


End file.
